A GIRL COMING OF AGE in the 1960s lived in one world as a child and another as a woman. Birth control—The Pill—arrived mid-60s, and turned all the rules about dating and sex upside down.

“Just do what comes naturally,” people said, and still do. But while feeling love and desire comes naturally, much of how we love is learned. Parents and peers, boyfriends and lovers, schools and religion, magazines and movies. Batterers and rapists. Sometimes we need to learn what has been missed, or unlearn what has been distorted, dirtied, and is all wrong and hurts, not just ourselves but others.

For a culture in which confusion is endemic and the wayward and unexamined are seen as “liberated,” changing options and attitudes become an excuse for recklessness and offense. And for a girl whose foundations are shaky and path unclear, the only way is through trial and error, learning to trust herself and believe there can be more.